Frustration and the Asperger’s Kid

Posted on April 20th, 2010

Does your Asperger’s kid suddenly become angry and distraught over something small like a missing toothbrush? Or a loose board on the porch? It may seem like they over-react to the small things that happen, but it is a fact that Asperger’s children have little emotional control and get frustrated easily. That’s where they need your help and the help of others qualified in the area of emotions.

So how does your child show their frustration? Do they withdraw to someplace they feel safe? Do they yell and cry? Do they throw things and hurt people? And what do you do when you child gets frustrated? Do you take it personally? Or do you jump in sooth them when they are on the brink of crying? Do you give them time alone to try to deal with it? Is it best to talk about the issue or let it go? Parents don’t want to spend a lot of time discussing the case of the missing toothbrush and how the child should have handled it when there may be more pressing issues in the household to discuss.

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome have a low toleration for frustration. It is understandable that the frustration comes from a lack of understanding of their own feelings. They are unable to identify and express what they are feeling so they lump all the ‘bad’ feelings together. The parents see the overflow of ‘bad’ feelings come out at once. It’s important that we don’t take them personally even when they seem as though they are directed at us. Aspergers’ kids want to tell what is on their mind and most of the time they don’t know how to say it properly or they misinterpreted their thoughts altogether.

So what can parents do to help these kids with these frustrations? If the child is exhibiting threatening behavior and seems unable to control it, then getting them to work with a professional is the best approach if they don’t already have one. Many times, a counselor can provide techniques or methods for the child to deal with their feelings. Also, a counselor can provide a parent with valuable insight and tools for helping the child deal with their feelings. There are also medications that a doctor can prescribe to help calm these outbursts and let the child think it through.

A child who is obviously frustrated but not particularly threatening or violent still needs help and parents can provide that through on the fly discussions. An older child can be reasoned with on what triggered the outburst and how they can deal with it the next time. It’s important that these discussion be held calmly and rationally. If the child feels accused or threatened themselves, then they will not be receptive to what the parents have to say and it may help to have a counselor facilitate these type of conversations.

The bottom line is if your child appears to have a low tolerance for frustration and it is happening more frequently, then they need help understanding what it happening to them. This kind of help can come from a number of places and the most important player is the parent. Don’t take it personally, rather understand they are literally brimming over with ‘bad’ emotions and don’t realize what they are doing.

Tags: Asperger's kid and frustration, Asperger's Syndrome Children, Frustrated Asperger's kid
Filed under Aspergers Disease |

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